The Perils of Gwendoline

You've heard of the movie that's so bad it's good? Well, this is a movie that's so bad it's bad. This truly is a dreadful picture, I mean in the running for worst of all-time. The ads suggested what might be a witty, bawdy spoof of the “Raiders of the Lost Ark” genre, but what the film does instead is take the very worst--worst, NOT best--elements of hard-core pornography, dubbed Chinese kung-fu movies, and industrial education films, and combine them into a real horror. Words fail to describe how bad this picture is--I mean that even the soundtrack isn't synchronized well. The picture is not dubbed, but it looks like it is. It's the kind of picture that thinks that if they show you a parrot, you'll think you're in the jungle. Everything, writing, lighting, photography, and above all, acting, is of the lowest quality imaginable. The picture proves two things: 1) Tawny Kitaen, while very goodlooking, is a truly dreadful actress, and 2) Just Jaeckin (of “Emmanuelle” fame) has ZERO talent as a writer-director. The picture might be just worth it if you want to see a lot of naked women, but frankly, I'd suggest investing the few bucks in a copy of Playboy. At least then you can flip past the boring pages.