The Pelican Brief

Starring: Julia Roberts, Denzel Washington

As bad as I expected. When are they going to wise up and stop making crappy movies out of Grisham books? This picture is so strained, so forced, you can hear the gears grinding and the machinery groaning in every reel. The plot is utterly unconvincing government conspiracy stuff, and the movie relies on long stretches of boring dialogue exposition (poorly delivered) to clue us in on what's going on (so far as it's able), intercut with long, unimaginative sequences of Julia and/or Denzel being chased by shadowy hit guys so burdened with cliché it's a wonder that they can walk (well, that's not fair; one of the hit guys has a lot more screen presence than Julia does). The movie features a lot of familiar Hollywood types flapping around doing not much of anything. It amazes me how they could plod ahead with this thing without realizing how dull it really is. The sad part is that it will make a lot of money, thereby sustaining the same pathetic cycle. And the one thing that might have saved it--humor--is in damnably short supply. Pakula tries to be DePalma and fails; he should have known better. Regrettably, Roberts is proving herself to be an extremely limited actress.

She underplays the role to the point of catatonia; they are so desperate to make her cuddly and vulnerable that she bores the shit out of us. Personally, I was rooting for the hit men, if only to silence the barely audible croak that passes for her grief laden, numbed-with-shock voice. I blame much of this on the writer and director Pakula, who forgets that passive victims of events are dull. Julia spends the movie in a state of (to borrow a phrase) whispery panic, flipping out at the slightest thing, and never gaining any kind of control that would make her a heroine to root for. Too bad. If she's a sample of a Tulane law student, I hope I never have to hire one. Her character belongs back in the 19th Century, when men were men and women were weak. Washington, a terrifically charismatic actor, tries his best, but he too is nearly extinguished by the moronic goings on. Finally, an answer to the crucial question: which is better, “The Firm” or "The Pelican Brief?" Easy. They both suck. (12/23/93)